


Where We Live

by helloearthlings



Category: King Falls AM (Podcast)
Genre: During Canon, F/M, Friendship, Friendship/Love, Gen, Nightmares, Platonic Cuddling, Platonic Relationships, Trauma
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-05
Updated: 2018-11-05
Packaged: 2019-08-19 02:22:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,319
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16525475
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/helloearthlings/pseuds/helloearthlings
Summary: “Emily?” Sammy croaks, squinting up at her as Emily nods. “What –?”“We fell asleep watching TV,” Emily whispers, gesturing over to Ben, who’s still passed out and drooling on the armchair now instead of Emily’s sweatshirt. “I think you were having a – a nightmare, maybe.”“Yeah,” Sammy says, pulling himself up into a seated position, rolling his neck around until it makes a cracking noise. Emily winces, but climbs up on the couch next to him. Sammy turns to her, surprised. “You can go back to sleep – I’m sorry, I’ll just go to the guest – I mean, my room.”





	Where We Live

**Author's Note:**

> I continue writing about nightmares and cuddling because it's important to me!! I might do another prompt fic thing in the near future, but it depends on if my inspiration gives me anything else coming up. Hope you like this one!

Emily’s drifting on the edge of sleep, drowsy and warm and mostly at peace, awake enough to know that the television screen is still bright and frozen on Netflix’s _are you still watching?_ screen but not awake enough to reach for the remote to dim the brightness.

She’s appreciating the feeling of Ben breathing against her neck as he’s curled up on her chest in the armchair they’re sharing, in a pleasant not-quite-dream state of thinking about fireplaces and good books and Ben Arnold, her three favorite things. It’s a drastic change from how she used to sleep at night, all of the tossing and turning and not-quite nightmares keeping her teetering on the edge of sleep and never embracing it.

Emily hears the noises before she processes them, the quiet whimpering coming from somewhere in the room. She wonders what it is for all of five seconds, her brain drifting through possibilities until her thoughts finally latch onto Sammy.

Her eyes fly open after that, an unpleasant lurch in her chest. She blinks herself awake, eyes heavy and bleary, and she cranes her neck toward the couch.

Sammy had been the first to fall asleep, not even halfway through their marathon of the newest season of American Vandal. He’s spread out across the couch, tall enough that he has to bend his knees to be able to lie down fully.

Ben had been so happy that Sammy had fallen asleep, that he seemed to be sleeping peacefully for a change. Ben had turned down the volume on the TV to just a murmur in the hopes that he wouldn't disturb Sammy's sleep.

Emily thinks the two of them maybe stayed up another hour talking quietly before Ben fell asleep on top of her mid-conversation, so Sammy’s been asleep for at least that long if not more. Emily’s certainly been dozing for at least half an hour.

Sammy’s peaceful sleep from earlier that night when he’d been curled up around a pillow with his mouth hanging open has clearly ended. Emily can see even from the light of the television that all of Sammy’s body has started quaking in his sleep, and his eyes are squeezed shut like he can’t bear to open them.

Emily doesn’t even think about sliding Ben off of her chest and onto the arm of the chair, though she’s careful not to jostle him too much in the hopes that he’ll stay asleep. She knows that Sammy and Ben sleep about the same amount at night, which isn’t much, so she hopes that at least Ben can keep sleeping for a change.

She crouches next to Sammy’s head, and slowly and carefully touches his shoulder.  

Sammy’s eyes fly open at the touch and Emily can’t help but be relieved. She’s hardly equipped to pull Sammy out of a nightmare. Really, only Ben’s capable of that.

“Emily?” Sammy croaks, squinting up at her as Emily nods. “What –?”

“We fell asleep watching TV,” Emily whispers, gesturing over to Ben, who’s still passed out and drooling on the armchair now instead of Emily’s sweatshirt. “I think you were having a – a nightmare, maybe.”

“Yeah,” Sammy says, pulling himself up into a seated position, rolling his neck around until it makes a cracking noise. Emily winces, but climbs up on the couch next to him. Sammy turns to her, surprised. “You can go back to sleep – I’m sorry, I’ll just go to the guest – I mean, my room.”

Emily takes a tight hold of Sammy’s hand before he can bolt, squeezing him in order to convey her complete unwillingness to leave him. Sammy’s still so unwilling to accept help, but she knows that it's a good first step that he's starting to think of Ben’s apartment as unquestionably _his,_ too.

“Shh,” Emily says, her chest aching. She can’t help Sammy like Ben does – she doesn’t think anyone can help like Ben does. Ben can get Sammy down to earth even when it seems like he’s bursting at the seams. She and Troy have talked countless times about not knowing what they can do, but glad that Sammy seems to be letting Ben at least take care of him. Finally.

“You shouldn’t be alone,” Emily says, and decides in a split second that she’s going to Ben Arnold this thing. She pushes Sammy’s chest back against the couch with her hand first, but then gently replaces it with her head, ducking under his chin.

She takes Sammy’s hand in her own as she settles into his chest. She can immediately feel the wild pounding of Sammy’s heartbeat, still pumping adrenaline from his nightmare. He makes a surprised noise as Emily situates her head under his chin, but he doesn’t push her away.

“Sleep if you can,” Emily says, rubbing her thumb in a circle on Sammy’s wrist, “but we can talk if you want to.”

“You don’t have to do this,” Sammy says, and even though Emily can’t see his face, she can tell he’s blushing, the embarrassment seeping into his voice. She doesn’t take offense. “Ben –”

“Ben’s out like a light,” Emily reassures him. “And he’d be doing the same as me if he were awake.”

“You don’t –”

“Do you want to talk about your nightmare?” Emily tries to change the subject. She knows trying to get Sammy to accept that people just want to show affection for him because they care is beyond him right now, possibly always.

Sammy doesn’t answer her question, just sighs in that sad, hopeless way of his that makes Emily want to wrap him in bubble wrap and never let him outside again. Then again, that’s pretty much what Sammy’s doing to himself right now, so that job is handled perhaps a little too thoroughly.

“I dreamed of the white room all the time, those first few months” Emily says, the words coming out without her really thinking about them. She barely talks to Ben about this, the hot white light on the edge of her brain hurting too much to get the words out. “I would always wake up feeling blinded, like I still couldn’t see anything but white.”

Sammy’s quiet for a couple seconds before he says, “It’s – it’s the opposite for me. It’s just… _dark_.”

“Shadows,” Emily whispers, curling tighter around Sammy.  She feels Sammy’s hand suddenly press against her shoulder, and she contains a sad smile. “I’m so sorry. I wish I could help.”

“Thanks,” Sammy says. His voice is scratchy, barely a whisper.

Emily decides not to push him further, at least for now, and focuses on the sounds of Sammy’s breathing evening out and his heartbeat becoming less erratic.

She isn’t sure how long they lay in the silence punctuated only by their breathing and the occasional snort from where Ben’s still asleep in the armchair.

Deciding to speak again is easy though, and Emily whispers just in case Ben’s awake, “Sammy? I just want you to know that if you ever need to talk to anyone, I’m here.”

“I know,” Sammy says in that way of his that’s so sincere and genuine but still brushing her off, because he’s heard this a million times before from a million people. Emily knows that, but she doesn’t mean it the way people always do.

“I don’t think you do know,” Emily says gently. “I don’t just mean as your friend – though of course that’s part of it. I mean, talk about what happened that night. As someone who’s gone through similar things. The rainbow lights – fearing for my life – it might be hard to talk to someone who doesn’t know what that’s like, but I _know_.”

“I know you do,” Sammy says, and Emily can almost feel the tension of him making the decision to fully put his arm around her shoulder and squeeze. She settles into the touch. “I – I just – I just can’t, Emily. Not to anyone. Not right now.”

“And that’s okay,” Emily reassures him with a quick squeeze of his hand. “Whenever you’re ready. I’m just saying that – I mean, I know you’ll want to talk to Ben before anyone else, but if that feels too, too daunting or intense…you can always practice on me.”

Emily winces internally and quickly says. “That came out wrong. I just – you know I love Ben. He cares so much, his heart is so big, he loves you like he’s bursting with it. What hurts you hurts him. That’s scary, sometimes.”

She thinks Sammy might take offense on Ben’s behalf, but when Sammy speaks it’s with a thick voice. “I just – I don’t want to hurt him more than I already have.”

“You won’t,” Emily promises. “All Ben wants is for you to open up and confide in him. About anything, not just what happened that night. I’m just saying that if you need to try the words out with someone else first, I’m always here.”

“Thanks, Emily,” Sammy says, and Emily’s heart swells when Sammy rests his cheek on the top of her head, half-hugging her. Emily squeezes him back twice as tightly.

“I love you,” Emily says, matter-of-fact. She doesn’t know if she’s ever told Sammy that before, but he should hopefully already know that it’s true. She wants to make sure he can’t believe otherwise. “I’d do anything for you, Sammy. Just remember that, okay? Obviously Ben cares the most, because I don’t think anyone can care about anything more than Ben cares about you…”

“And _you_ ,” Sammy adds in with a characteristic laugh, almost light and airy and missing his usual tension. Emily smiles in response.

“And me,” she corrects with a small laugh. “And Troy, for that matter. And Ron, and Mary…Ben Arnold just has too much love to contain."

“Cause he’s so small,” Sammy says like it’s obvious, and laughs at his own joke. His voice sounds so exhausted, but there’s some brevity to him right now too, and Emily would like to think that she helped bring it out of him. She grins, nestling further into his chest.

“Cause he’s so small,” she agrees happily, thinking that at least she’s gotten her point across even if Sammy won’t take her up on the offer here and now. He might someday, and that’s the important thing.

“ _S’goin’ on_?”

Emily half-turns to see Ben lift his head from the fluffy arm of his chair, wiping his mouth hastily when he sees her looking at him. She holds in a laugh, and can feel Sammy do the same, his chest vibrating slightly.

“I heard my name,” Ben mumbles, blinking at the two of them. His gaze is endlessly fond when he sees Emily curled up into Sammy. “And also the word _small_. It’s rude to talk ‘bout people when they’re asleep. S’happening?”

“I’m stealing your girlfriend,” Sammy says in his most sardonic tone. Emily giggles and ducks her head even further under Sammy’s chest.

“I’m burning up with jealousy,” Ben deadpans, yawning in their direction as he stretches himself awake. “If we had any frog legs in the fridge, I’d throw them at you.”

“Gloves above the waist,” Emily says with an uncomfortable lurch of her stomach. No matter how innocuous, the reminder of Greg’s existence is always unpleasant, but she can brush past it and leave it in the dust where it belongs.  “Besides, you’re probably more jealous of me than Sammy. Isn’t this how you two sleep all the time when I’m not here?”

“ _No_ ,” Sammy says, sounding half-affronted, but he’s cut off by another yawn from Ben as he pulls himself up from his chair, stretching like a cat before he stands up and crosses the two steps it takes to get to the couch.

He leans over and pecks the top of Emily’s head, running a quick hand through her hair, but he moves to the other side of the couch to spread his legs out, leaning his head against the shoulder that Sammy still has free.

“There’s generally more spooning,” Ben mumbles into Sammy’s shoulder. Sammy groans in response, but he still shifts slightly to give Ben more room to nestle into his side.

“You two can really go to your own bed, and I’ll be fine _not_ having this weird three-way cuddle,” Sammy says in that deflective way of his where he has to point out anything he finds strange about a situation instead of accept other people’s love and affection.

“But if we do that, how can I be blindly jealous of you stealing my girlfriend?” Ben asks, half-laughing to himself, probably at the sheer ridiculousness of the idea. It’s making Emily giggle, too. “I’m offended. Affronted. Betrayed. I'll never forgive you. You're warm. And your shoulder’s really comfy. I love you.”

“Go back to sleep,” Sammy laughs, affection seeping into his voice likely in spite of himself. Ben makes a contented sound as reaches across Sammy’s lap to grab Emily’s hand, but otherwise seems to listen to the request, his eyes drooping closed again.

Emily takes that as a mandate for her as well, but moves her head just enough so she crane her neck up to peck Sammy’s cheek.

“You go to sleep, too,” Emily says, ducking back under his chin and getting comfortable again. “Not a request. We’ll be here when you wake up.”

“I’m sure,” Sammy says. Emily can hear the eye roll accompanying it, but also knows that Sammy has at least accepted that Ben and Emily won’t stop trying to help him in any way they can, and that they’ll never leave him for anything.

Emily squeezes Ben’s hand one last time before drifting off again. She feels more at peace than she has recently, with the two people who mean most to her within arm’s reach, the sound of Sammy’s heartbeat under her cheek saying he’s safe and not going anywhere. There’s nothing more reassuring than that.


End file.
